So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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