weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
