i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
