I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
