I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
it hurts more in the daytime
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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