You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
