Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
