she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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