I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
