Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
