to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
