Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
