There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
