I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
