i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
one two three fourrrrnication!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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