i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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