the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
