I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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