It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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