Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
