you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
