Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
This baby is an asshole
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
