I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
