My room smells like vodka and shame
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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