6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
