if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
