Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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