I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize