Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
