So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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