he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
