I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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