We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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