i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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