so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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