Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You were trust falling into bushes
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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