hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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