covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
