Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
