You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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