I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
