Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
