got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
