her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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