I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
