I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
