is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
nutella sex= disaster
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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