Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just pee around me
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize