I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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