Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
