Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
