stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
