My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
