It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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