Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
