talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She told me I should be a condom model.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
