Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
