i don't like sucking hair
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
