ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
