ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
