how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize