I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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