He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
